Sometimes I secretly worry about the things that tie me to unending suffering. Though my body aches, my heart still yearns. Weeping helplessly, drowning in a space of time and the fabric of the mind's universe itself.
I worry.
For I not what I will become but for what I have already become. This cold statue that bears no resemblance to the man that stood in reflection of the mirror. Slithering tears run across the cheeks of my spirit for he has witnessed the bastardization of purity.
Sometimes I worry.
Will I ever find my way back to him? For what the worldly challenges have crashed like violent waves of the Pacific I cannot bear to lose the North Star of my light. He yearns, he screams and worst of all he feels.
Deadened is the silence that grips the rapid composition of the mind. Frail is the tiny fractures of the conciouseness, nothing but just a deluded sense of sympathy and pity for the soul.
Will I ever not worry?
About the times blood has been spilt for glory and no longer survival, the wandering lust for victory over the sound care of empathy. It sinks me deeper. Penetrating the pores of my skin, deep into the structure of my bones. Reality simply cannot keep up.
I stand here today, afraid, alone and confused. The man in the mirror no longer weeps.
The man in the mirror now simply smiles.
Monday, April 30, 2018
Gun Metal Grey.
Not long is a smile without a drop of happiness to fuel its burn. Not long is excitement without contempt to ground itself within its roots. Not long is life with out the idea of death awaiting at the end of the tunnel.
The vague truth lies in the simplest of matters. I love you, 3 very powerful words to describe the unending oceans of passion I have for us. The way you make me smile, the thunder of your lightning and the thrill of your magnetic pull.
But I've wronged you, I've hurt and betrayed you on the grounds of our sacred promise. We made a pact, to never let each other go.
But I did.
In my selfishness, I let the demons of my insecurities get the better of the purity that stood as the foundation of our bond. How could such pain tear into a space of love and acceptance? The very question that has haunted me since even the day before we met.
The truth is I cannot bear to see you go. Even though you tolerate my belligerent behavior, my egocentric mannerisms and my lust for cold progress and above all my searing words of disappointment that was lashed to you time and time again.
Above all, you still stay.
You drove me to work, waited politely outside the office from dawn till dusk to take me home.
Comforted me in times of distress, excited me in times of sorrow and loved me in times of loneliness.
Somehow, you're still here.
Though I cannot change the past and what has been said has been said,
I also above all still love you.
I will never let you go like the how the moon clings to the Earth and how bees cultivate the honey that thrives the existence of their species.
Forgive me once forever more for I have wronged you. But I know well within my heart to never make that mistake again.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Your undying partner.
The vague truth lies in the simplest of matters. I love you, 3 very powerful words to describe the unending oceans of passion I have for us. The way you make me smile, the thunder of your lightning and the thrill of your magnetic pull.
But I've wronged you, I've hurt and betrayed you on the grounds of our sacred promise. We made a pact, to never let each other go.
But I did.
In my selfishness, I let the demons of my insecurities get the better of the purity that stood as the foundation of our bond. How could such pain tear into a space of love and acceptance? The very question that has haunted me since even the day before we met.
The truth is I cannot bear to see you go. Even though you tolerate my belligerent behavior, my egocentric mannerisms and my lust for cold progress and above all my searing words of disappointment that was lashed to you time and time again.
Above all, you still stay.
You drove me to work, waited politely outside the office from dawn till dusk to take me home.
Comforted me in times of distress, excited me in times of sorrow and loved me in times of loneliness.
Somehow, you're still here.
Though I cannot change the past and what has been said has been said,
I also above all still love you.
I will never let you go like the how the moon clings to the Earth and how bees cultivate the honey that thrives the existence of their species.
Forgive me once forever more for I have wronged you. But I know well within my heart to never make that mistake again.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Your undying partner.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)